Every important choice we make in our lives is based on one of two things; either faith or fear.
As children we lived in a state of possibility, hope and faith that we would be taken care of. We had a natural sense of faith. But for most of us, after a couple of years of disappointments and heartbreaking experiences our natural sense of faith was overshadowed by fear.
When our fear is not balanced with our faith, it tells us to play small and stay safe. What are we afraid of? We fear that if we try and fail, it will hurt too much.
In the book “The Right Questions” Debbie Ford offers ten profound questions that can change the choices you make – and ultimately empower you to go after what you truly desire. One of these Right Questions:
Is this an act of faith or is it an act of fear?
will support you in catching yourself in the way you let your fear drive your decisions or impact the choices you make.
For so many years my fear was the one running the show. I stayed too long in relationships that were not healthy for me. And even though I suffered in my relationships my fear caused me to try desperately to hold on to what no longer served me. My fear would tell me that:
- There must be something wrong with me that prevents me from making long-term relationships work
- That I would end up alone if I lose this relationship
- That I’m not special or good enough
- That I must be unlovable
My fear fuelled me with self-doubt. At the time I didn’t have much access to my faith. All I heard was the loud voice of my fear. Today I’m convinced that had I been able to listen to the voice of my faith, it would have told me something like this:
- That I will experience a new love again
- That there is something bigger planned for me even though I can’t see it right now
- To let go
- That there is someone who will love and care for me more deeply than this man
When we have faith we get the courage to open the door to a new future and go after our dreams.
Here is what you can do to develop faith and stop fear from running your life:
- Start to give your emotions a voice. Your emotions are here to communicate important information. So allow yourself to hear what your emotions have to say to you
- Begin to identify the thoughts, behaviours and inner dialogues you have that is not based on faith and acknowledge what would be possible if they were more balanced with faith
- When you are making an important choice, take a moment to sit down quietly, take a slow deep breath and ask yourself the following Right Question: “Is this an act of faith or is it an act of fear?”
- Read the book “The Right Questions” by Debbie Ford
- In the next week ask yourself again and again: “Where is my faith right now?” Notice whether your faith is in your fear or in the perfection of the universe
- When you need support in making a choice; first hear what the voice of your fear has to say and then hear what the voice of your faith has to say. Based on what you hear make a decision as to who you want to listen to
- Hire an integrative coach or engage in some other form of deep personal development that will support you in having access to both your fear and your faith http://www.debbieford.com/
