Nine months earlier I was being trained as a life and business coach at Manning Inspire and on one of the last days of the training program we were presented with some of Debbie Ford’s material. I remember one quote in particular that resonated with something deep inside of me, and that quote was: “You HAVE a story, but you ARE not your story”. Until then all I’d heard was “You are a product of your past”, etc. This gave me hope that it was possible to free myself from the boundaries of my story, to go beyond the limitations that I felt my story had created. 

I immediately went out and bought Debbie’s first book “The Dark Side of  the Light Chasers” and ”swallowed” it. A few months later I heard that Debbie was coming to Copenhagen to hold her world-famed Shadow Process. At the time I only had about USD 1000 in my company account and I knew that I needed to spend those money on the workshop. 

After just a couple of hours into the Shadow Process I realized that this was not the kind of workshop where we sit down in a circle and tell each other how fabulous we are. This was hardcore personal development! In this workshop I did things and said things that under normal circumstances would have taken me a billion light years out of my comfort zone, but because we were all in it for the same; to get rid of our masks and embrace the power of our athentic true nature it felt 100% safe.

I remember driving to work the following Monday and there was a lot of traffic that morning. I was driving down the same road that I had been driving on for the last 7 years and instead of being the least annoyed about the traffic and the fact that I was going to be late, I was completely fascinated by clusters of the most beautiful wild roses that were growing at the side of the road. I was so captured by this beautiful sight that not one negative or upsetting thought entered my mind. I felt as if all my senses had been sharpened, I felt lighter, more free and much closer to who I really was.

At the end of this month May 27-29 you will get the chance to be lead through this unique and deep transformational Shadow Process, as Debbie is coming to Copenhagen once again. In three powerful days you will get the opportunity to let go of your limiting story, negative beliefs and self-sabotaging behavior. You will be guided to:

• accept and love the parts of yourself that you have disowned, rejected, hated or been ashamed of
• make peace with your past, take responsibility and heal the issues that keep you from experiencing the brilliance and peace of your authentic nature
• reclaim your self-confidence and experience a completely new level of emotional freedom and personal power

By using this link  http://www.thefordinstitute.com/spdkcoach you’ll get all the information you need about the workshop and if you decide to sign up (you need to be fast!) you will receive a discount of USD 155 if you put my name in the question “Where did you hear about us?”. Instead of paying USD 1250 your price will be USD 1095!

I will be assisting at the workshop and I hope to see you there

As children we lived in a state of possibility, hope and faith that we would be taken care of. We had a natural sense of faith. But for most of us, after a couple of years of disappointments and heartbreaking experiences our natural sense of faith was overshadowed by fear. 

When our fear is not balanced with our faith, it tells us to play small and stay safe. What are we afraid of? We fear that if we try and fail, it will hurt too much.   

In the book “The Right Questions” Debbie Ford offers ten profound questions that can change the choices you make – and ultimately empower you to go after what you truly desire. One of these Right Questions: 

Is this an act of faith or is it an act of fear? 

will support you in catching yourself in the way you let your fear drive your decisions or impact the choices you make. 

For so many years my fear was the one running the show. I stayed too long in relationships that were not healthy for me. And even though I suffered in my relationships my fear caused me to try desperately to hold on to what no longer served me. My fear would tell me that:

• There must be something wrong with me that prevents me from making long-term relationships work
• That I would end up alone if I lose this relationship
• That I’m not special or good enough
• That I must be unlovable

My fear fuelled me with self-doubt. At the time I didn’t have much access to my faith. All I heard was the loud voice of my fear. Today I’m convinced that had I been able to listen to the voice of my faith, it would have told me something like this: 

• That I will experience a new love again
• That there is something bigger planned for me even though I can’t see it right now
• To let go
• That there is someone who will love and care for me more deeply than this man

When we have faith we get the courage to open the door to a new future and go after our dreams.    

 Here is what you can do to develop faith and stop fear from running your life: 

• Start to give your emotions a voice. Your emotions are here to communicate important information. So allow yourself to hear what your emotions have to say to you 
• Begin to identify the thoughts, behaviours and inner dialogues you have that is not based on faith and acknowledge what would be possible if they were more balanced with faith 
• When you are making an important choice, take a moment to sit down quietly, take a slow deep breath and ask yourself the following Right Question: “Is this an act of faith or is it an act of fear?”
•  Read the book “The Right Questions” by Debbie Ford 
• In the next week ask yourself again and again: “Where is my faith right now?” Notice whether your faith is in your fear or in the perfection of the universe 
• When you need support in making a choice; first hear what the voice of your fear has to say and then hear what the voice of your faith has to say. Based on what you hear make a decision as to who you want to listen to
• Hire an integrative coach or engage in some other form of deep personal development that will support you in having access to both your fear and your faith http://www.debbieford.com/ 

A lot of people use the majority of their thoughts and energy on “surviving” rather than living the life they truly desire. They spend a lot more time watching TV shows on interior decorating than looking inside and contemplating the interior decorating of their own lives – physically, mentally and emotionally.

What do you really want in your life?

A huge question, yes, but probably the most important one to know. I’m convinced that we are meant to be as happy as possible on all levels during our time here. Is that what you are looking for? Is there a better alternative? The key to happiness is to get and achieve what you most desire – whether that means to become self-employed, move out in the country, find your true passion, reach your ideal weight, find your soul mate, etc. And underneath that it’s probably a feeling that you are after such as peace, happiness or freedom.

The life that you desire doesn’t have to be defined by one thing, one job or a certain way of living for the rest of your life. What you really want can change many times and evolve again and again.

The thing is that you can get everything you dream about. You are meant to live a happy and passionate life, and the path to happiness is to unfold and live your full potential, do what you’re best at and what your heart desires. To go after your unfulfilled dreams may take both courage and confidence – qualities we all possess, but for some may lie hidden in the shadow. Don’t put your life on standby. See through the illusion that someday you’re going to do it.

As a student and a coach of the shadow it has taken me several years to be able to describe to other people with a few words what shadow work really is about. But with Debbie Ford’s amazing documentary “The Shadow Effect” it has become a lot easier. In a little more than an hour Debbie provides so much information and gives an amazing taste of the shadow including how it can create such havoc in your life.

She exposes the opposing forces of dark and light that compete for attention within every human being. She teaches us about projections, how we give our power away by not realizing that the wonderful qualities we see in other people are nothing but a reflection of ourselves, a part of us that we have denied, suppressed or hidden away – just waiting to be released.

Debbie has made this documentary in collaboration with Deepak Chopra and Marianne Williamson and every time I see it, a new aspect of my own shadow – light or dark – shows up and creates a profound gift of transformation.

Basically shadow work is about accepting and loving yourself for who you are – good and bad – and the goal is not to become perfect, but to become whole again. To be able to have full access to all parts of yourself again.

It’s my experience that true empowerment comes when you can feel free to express your entire emotional range in healthy and constructive ways. A lot of times we get trapped in trying to suppress feelings that we have decided are “bad”, like anger, fear or jealousy.

And just like Debbie talks about in “The Shadow Effect”, we want to be able to use our feelings and not have our feelings use us. When our feelings are using us, we react rather than respond – we have no choice over our choices. But when we allow ourselves to become present to and be with our feelings, we can begin to take back our power from the programmed reactions of the past and make powerful choices about how we want to respond in the present.

Just recently I had the privilege to facilitate a workshop “The Guided Shadow Effect Interactive” for a group of fabulous women, who all had one thing in common; they were ready for something more in their lives. And to be able to see these women begin to make peace with their shadow and experience more self-love and self-expression made me feel so blessed to be able to spread this work.

Had I not learned to love and integrate my darkest shadows, I would still be stuck in my story, living a life so different – in all areas – from what I do today, where I love what I do and who I am. And that’s the best gift I can give to those around me – especially my son.